Hello there blog. Happy new year. Sorry for the late greeting.
What's with the mellow mood you ask? Yeah, I know... I should be excited that the new year's just kicked in...
But as the title implies, I'm rather apprehensive now or should we say cautious, compared to the previous new years. You see blog, for the last couple of years, I've been bullish with my projections in the past, stating that new year will be bringing in a lot of changes.
True, I've changed a bit. I'd like to think that I've changed, grew or matured for the better but personality and mindset issues aside, if you're going to look at who I am right now, it looks like nothing's changed much... The reason why I think like this is because I'm not getting any younger... I'm 29 years old... technically that is still young but for crying out loud, people who I grew up with had already made strides, changes or whatsoever... I'm still stuck with many of my unfulfilled dreams, hoping and working to make them come true this time around...
Maybe this apprehensive feeling that I have right now is caused by this awareness... Who knows?... Then again dear blog, you can't really blame me for thinking that way especially considering that I practically wasted a good number of my younger years as you bore witness to it...
December 21, 2012, the projected and feared end of days has come to pass as just another day, much to the chagrin of the doomsayers... kidding aside and with that in mind, I can't afford to fail on my hopes and dreams this year... time flies so fast that before you know it, another year had just gone by and the status quo still remains... I'm tired of it... I'm tired of putting in a whole lot of effort only to find myself tiring myself on the same spot... I'm tired of making headways and then somewhere along the way, something happens that throws me back to square one...
While 2012 wasn't really that much of good year for me (which obviously made me raise the middle finger to it as a farewell once the calendar moved on to 2013), a lot of good things also happened as well: moving a new environment, getting a fresh start, being part of a new "family", having a new set of friends - a new cast in the sitcom that is my life, made new friends abroad and recovering from a number of big mistakes...
I repeat dear blog, I am apprehensive because year in, year out, I've made bullish projections that fell flat on it's collective face; dreamed of dreams that never materialized or got fulfilled. And yet, I am still hopeful. I've seen the world or at least a portion of it. My world is no longer stuck on any one location. My playground is now the world. It is waiting for me, goading me to take to the skies and fulfill my dreams for real this time around... I can't afford to fail...
For the superstitious, thirteen is an unlucky number... but with all the fuss that 2012 brought me, I dare to raise a finger at that superstition and make 2013 a year of real changes and not just another year of frustrations...
Anyway, enough of this ranting, dear blog... I have dreams to fulfill... and God help me if it's going to be "just another year"...
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