Hello Blog.
It's been a while. I guess you can say that this little author here is slowly moving on from his once religious habit of blogging and on to other things that are taking up a lot of his time. Things have gotten a bit busy here and there, mostly because of work, and because of a lot of things as well.
So far, 2010 has been the best year that I have had the privilege of living my way through post-UST. Yes, I still have debts to pay for the sins that I committed the years before... In fact, I have accumulated a couple of new sins as well. But by far, 2010 has been the year of a lot of changes - mostly good though there have been bad changes as well.
This year has been the year that I have finally given the last bastion of my "totoy" mindset. As written in my last blog post, after joining my last tournament in that arcade racing game, I finally retired from virtual racing. Yes, I must admit that I still do play from time to time but not in a very competitive manner as before. I had finally outgrown the need for the game as an emotional crutch and as a hobby.
Career-wise, this has been a very fulfilling year as well. Never had I imagined that I would be very happy in a job that I wasn't born to do: sales. After working in companies where my peers are mostly older than me and have families of their own already, in my current job, I feel like an old man... mostly because of the mindset that many of my peers in my previous jobs that had rubbed in on me...
Anyway, while I feel that I have yet to do the most important thing for this year... which I still don't know what it is... I'm pretty happy with the way things are turning out.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Retiring from the Virtual Highway
It’s been roughly two weeks since the second Maximum Tune tournament. Two weeks since I retired from the game itself. Now dear reader, you might be wondering why it took me quite some time to finally move on from a game that had literally cost me thousands of pesos tuning up a virtual car, winning virtual races here and there when I could have saved up all that cash and probably bought myself quite a number of more important valuables instead.
For starters, I started playing the game as a substitute. I am a fighter pilot by nature – albeit a virtual fighter pilot, since my eyesight has prevented me from fulfilling that dream (Consider it a blessing in disguise when you take a look at the current state of the Philippine Air Force, dear reader.). As such, I am inclined to play games that allow me to rule the skies, virtual as it may be. At the time I started playing Maximum Tune, there was a shortage of flight simulation-like games in the arcades. The same goes for the tried and trusted desktop. There was a shortage of games that cater to us virtual fighter pilots – and there’s still a shortage of those kinds of games to this day save for the wonderful Ace Combat series which is unfortunately available on a console that I don’t own. So, I took to the next best thing: racing games. Initial-D was there but I didn’t buy the idea of running and drifting my car in a mountain course, cool as it may look like. I eventually discovered Maximum Tune which represents the opposite of mountain racing: highway racing. And there started my four year stay with the game.
A little while after I started playing Maximum Tune, my first girlfriend and I fell apart. What started as a light hobby, something to while away my time had turned into something else. Needless to say, the game became my crutch. For lack of any feasible and viable activity, the game became my outlet. An outlet for my rage, my sorrow and a myriad of other emotions that I felt during that time. I started playing the game with a car called Lancer Evolution 8 (Evo8 for car aficionados). After the break-up, I dumped the Evo and went for a car that looked like a Viper, the RX-7 FD3S, and named it after my favorite Autobot (yes, I am a transformers fan, happy?). The change of cars symbolized my decision to change. You can say that the game bore witness to the various changes that I went through during the last four years. Shortly after that, the first Maximum Tune tourney came to the fore. I was a total newbie at that time and you can imagine what happened, dear reader.
After the tourney (and a change of playing location due to me starting to work at Makati at that time), I began to develop, improve and mature as a player. Playing with who I consider as some of the best players in the country, I changed from a mere cannon fodder to a credible “threat” during races. During that time, my car also went through a number of changes as well. In time, I began to earn a “reputation” of sorts for being one of the few fellows who dared to take a light car, with a very light setup into a firefight with the game’s heavyweights. In time, I also had another girlfriend who turned out to be a “replacement”. It was through her that I learned that I was not ready to go into another relationship. That experience was also reflected on my car as well. In a way, the car represented me; my other self who couldn’t find a way to surface in the real world. While many people look down on arcade gaming as being anti-social because the players live in a “virtual world”, it was ironically through the arcade that I learned once again how to interact with people. How to make new friends again and how to open my doors again as well.
Before I knew it, I had already recovered (pretty much) from the hell that I went through. Incidentally, while I was getting good at the game, my career also began to take a turn for the better. Somehow, my relationship with my family began to improve. While I was still playing the game as an outlet, it also became something that I really enjoyed doing. As time went by, many of the people I started playing the game with had moved on to other things. I soon began to notice that I was racing with people who are younger than me. I began to wonder what was it that compelled me to keep on racing when majority of the people I started with had already stopped. Just like some real-life racers (legal and otherwise) who still keep on racing the streets and racetracks because they are searching for something, I too was racing because I have questions that needed to be answered.
And then came the second tournament. I realized that that would be where I can find my answers. I joined. I gave it my best. I survived the first round eliminations and got defeated in a one-on-one match with one of those legendary players for a shot into the finals. In spite of my defeat, I felt at peace. My question had been answered. I kept on racing because the game became a place where I can confidently prove myself time and time again. I have nothing left to prove in the game. Respect? In a way, I had already achieved it due to the way some players treat me. Personal fulfillment? I had already achieved it by going up against the best and giving them a run for their mony. I realized that whatever drove me to prove myself in the game, to give it my all in every race, can be applied to any endeavor that I undertake. The game had helped me realize that I have the capability to keep on going, to stand up whenever I’m knocked down. It had given me the confidence that I am capable of making things happen if I wish it to be. I had finally outgrown my need for the game as an emotional and psychological crutch. I can finally retire and move on to other things that are more important for a fellow of my age.
I will not deny that I will still play that game from time to time, as rare as that might be. It’s already in my blood. It’s a part of me already and I do have friends there who are definitely true and give wonderful insights on other things in life. But I can no longer go back to being active there. While there are players who are of the same age as mine or even older who are still actively playing the game, sad to say for my fellow racers, I cannot be like them since I have a different path, a different highway to take. The next time that I’ll be playing will be nothing more than to relive the good old times.
It’s time for me to take the next turn that branches away from the virtual highway that had helped me during my darkest hours and move on to another proving ground.
For starters, I started playing the game as a substitute. I am a fighter pilot by nature – albeit a virtual fighter pilot, since my eyesight has prevented me from fulfilling that dream (Consider it a blessing in disguise when you take a look at the current state of the Philippine Air Force, dear reader.). As such, I am inclined to play games that allow me to rule the skies, virtual as it may be. At the time I started playing Maximum Tune, there was a shortage of flight simulation-like games in the arcades. The same goes for the tried and trusted desktop. There was a shortage of games that cater to us virtual fighter pilots – and there’s still a shortage of those kinds of games to this day save for the wonderful Ace Combat series which is unfortunately available on a console that I don’t own. So, I took to the next best thing: racing games. Initial-D was there but I didn’t buy the idea of running and drifting my car in a mountain course, cool as it may look like. I eventually discovered Maximum Tune which represents the opposite of mountain racing: highway racing. And there started my four year stay with the game.
A little while after I started playing Maximum Tune, my first girlfriend and I fell apart. What started as a light hobby, something to while away my time had turned into something else. Needless to say, the game became my crutch. For lack of any feasible and viable activity, the game became my outlet. An outlet for my rage, my sorrow and a myriad of other emotions that I felt during that time. I started playing the game with a car called Lancer Evolution 8 (Evo8 for car aficionados). After the break-up, I dumped the Evo and went for a car that looked like a Viper, the RX-7 FD3S, and named it after my favorite Autobot (yes, I am a transformers fan, happy?). The change of cars symbolized my decision to change. You can say that the game bore witness to the various changes that I went through during the last four years. Shortly after that, the first Maximum Tune tourney came to the fore. I was a total newbie at that time and you can imagine what happened, dear reader.
After the tourney (and a change of playing location due to me starting to work at Makati at that time), I began to develop, improve and mature as a player. Playing with who I consider as some of the best players in the country, I changed from a mere cannon fodder to a credible “threat” during races. During that time, my car also went through a number of changes as well. In time, I began to earn a “reputation” of sorts for being one of the few fellows who dared to take a light car, with a very light setup into a firefight with the game’s heavyweights. In time, I also had another girlfriend who turned out to be a “replacement”. It was through her that I learned that I was not ready to go into another relationship. That experience was also reflected on my car as well. In a way, the car represented me; my other self who couldn’t find a way to surface in the real world. While many people look down on arcade gaming as being anti-social because the players live in a “virtual world”, it was ironically through the arcade that I learned once again how to interact with people. How to make new friends again and how to open my doors again as well.
Before I knew it, I had already recovered (pretty much) from the hell that I went through. Incidentally, while I was getting good at the game, my career also began to take a turn for the better. Somehow, my relationship with my family began to improve. While I was still playing the game as an outlet, it also became something that I really enjoyed doing. As time went by, many of the people I started playing the game with had moved on to other things. I soon began to notice that I was racing with people who are younger than me. I began to wonder what was it that compelled me to keep on racing when majority of the people I started with had already stopped. Just like some real-life racers (legal and otherwise) who still keep on racing the streets and racetracks because they are searching for something, I too was racing because I have questions that needed to be answered.
And then came the second tournament. I realized that that would be where I can find my answers. I joined. I gave it my best. I survived the first round eliminations and got defeated in a one-on-one match with one of those legendary players for a shot into the finals. In spite of my defeat, I felt at peace. My question had been answered. I kept on racing because the game became a place where I can confidently prove myself time and time again. I have nothing left to prove in the game. Respect? In a way, I had already achieved it due to the way some players treat me. Personal fulfillment? I had already achieved it by going up against the best and giving them a run for their mony. I realized that whatever drove me to prove myself in the game, to give it my all in every race, can be applied to any endeavor that I undertake. The game had helped me realize that I have the capability to keep on going, to stand up whenever I’m knocked down. It had given me the confidence that I am capable of making things happen if I wish it to be. I had finally outgrown my need for the game as an emotional and psychological crutch. I can finally retire and move on to other things that are more important for a fellow of my age.
I will not deny that I will still play that game from time to time, as rare as that might be. It’s already in my blood. It’s a part of me already and I do have friends there who are definitely true and give wonderful insights on other things in life. But I can no longer go back to being active there. While there are players who are of the same age as mine or even older who are still actively playing the game, sad to say for my fellow racers, I cannot be like them since I have a different path, a different highway to take. The next time that I’ll be playing will be nothing more than to relive the good old times.
It’s time for me to take the next turn that branches away from the virtual highway that had helped me during my darkest hours and move on to another proving ground.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Doodles 101
Frag it...
I can't sleep again...
Ladies and Gentlemen, its time for a long overdue visit to Club Insomnia and Anemic Bar and Grill!!! XD
I can't sleep again...
Ladies and Gentlemen, its time for a long overdue visit to Club Insomnia and Anemic Bar and Grill!!! XD
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Missing Muse
Ok... Its been quite a while since I made a *series* of literary shorts here in my blog (please refer to the "Midnight Series")... Lately, I've been too cooped up with work to be able to write any fictional shorts to speak of... In addition, I feel that my literary muse seems to be nowhere in sight...
For some reason, I suddenly miss writing those fictional short stories that I used to post here... Much as I try to make a new one, on a new topic, I feel that I can't do it properly and as well as the "Midnight Series" that I wrote a few years ago... Its as if, I don't have anything else to write about lately other than my musings and reflections on certain events of my life.
Where oh where did that crazy muse of mine go?
For some reason, I suddenly miss writing those fictional short stories that I used to post here... Much as I try to make a new one, on a new topic, I feel that I can't do it properly and as well as the "Midnight Series" that I wrote a few years ago... Its as if, I don't have anything else to write about lately other than my musings and reflections on certain events of my life.
Where oh where did that crazy muse of mine go?
Sunday, April 25, 2010
My Prototype
I've posted in a number of previous blog entries of my rather strained relationship with my dad. Lately, I've come to appreciate the words of wisdom coming from him and his myriad of experiences. Granted that some of his advice may not be up to date as he would like it to be, it certainly gives me a different perspective to a certain situation.
As far dealing with other people are concerned, I'm slowly starting to see that in a way, I do have quite a number of similarities to my dad. Aside from being serious, which seems to be a trademark among the men of the Rios family, I've noticed that my dad seems to have a wry and dry sense of humor and a witty streak as well. Obviously, this only surfaces when my dad is with his buddies or his cousins. True to the adage "Like father, like son", I also carry a wry and dry sense of humor, and a witty yet sarcastic streak. When giving advice, he tends to be a bit too frank... which I realize that I too also tend to be a bit too frank and up front...
Of course, my dad and I are still two different persons in spite of our similarities. Being an engineering graduate, my dad is quite adept in math even on his age. I always find myself wondering how the hell was he able to compute a rather large number so quickly and accurately when his mind is supposed to have slowed down at his age of 65. I'm sure that you, dear reader, can imagine that I'm not too fond of math. Where he demands accuracy, I tend to be a bit more lenient.
Who I am today, aside from being molded by my various experiences, I also got a good chunk of it from my dad. In a sense, you could say that he is my prototype.
As far dealing with other people are concerned, I'm slowly starting to see that in a way, I do have quite a number of similarities to my dad. Aside from being serious, which seems to be a trademark among the men of the Rios family, I've noticed that my dad seems to have a wry and dry sense of humor and a witty streak as well. Obviously, this only surfaces when my dad is with his buddies or his cousins. True to the adage "Like father, like son", I also carry a wry and dry sense of humor, and a witty yet sarcastic streak. When giving advice, he tends to be a bit too frank... which I realize that I too also tend to be a bit too frank and up front...
Of course, my dad and I are still two different persons in spite of our similarities. Being an engineering graduate, my dad is quite adept in math even on his age. I always find myself wondering how the hell was he able to compute a rather large number so quickly and accurately when his mind is supposed to have slowed down at his age of 65. I'm sure that you, dear reader, can imagine that I'm not too fond of math. Where he demands accuracy, I tend to be a bit more lenient.
Who I am today, aside from being molded by my various experiences, I also got a good chunk of it from my dad. In a sense, you could say that he is my prototype.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Immortals
Another LSGH batchmate of mine has been called by God and is now resting peacefully by his side. While I'm not really that close to this said batchmate of mine, the guy was a familiar face to me and vice-versa. While the details are still sketchy, its been reported that the guy died in his sleep. Considering that its been a decade since we left the warm and familiar grounds of our LSGH campus, quite a number of people from my batch (along with a couple of our former professors) had passed away.
It is quite ironic that back in the day when we were still studying at LSGH, me and many of my batchmates had always believed that there is always another day. Even for the most pessimistic in our batch, many of us had always thought that there is always tomorrow. That life will stay the same the very next day that we wake up. That we will always see the same familiar faces day-in and day-out. In a sense, we might have believed that we were immortals - forever young, immune to the harshness and realities of life. That death is just a word, a figment of our imagination. To be honest, there were already a few deaths among our batch while we were still in LSGH. But for the most part, many of us may have thought that it was just a fluke, a mistake that none of us had a hand in doing but still permanent nonetheless.
Its news like these that makes you appreciate what you have with your life right now. That you have to make the most in life and not live with regrets, hate, anger and whatsoever. These kinds of news also makes you wonder what have you done and what legacy will you be leaving behind when your time finally comes.
To Bernard Cabading, my batchmate from LSGH, you're in a better place now. Many could only envy the manner of your death as it was so peaceful you may not have even noticed it. That you might have actually woke up beside the Lord the second death took you in your sleep. You're now with our other batchmates who had gone ahead of us. In a sense, you guys up there are now immortals in your own rights, just as many of us had thought of ourselves during the idiocy of our youth, in the hallowed grounds of LSGH.
It is quite ironic that back in the day when we were still studying at LSGH, me and many of my batchmates had always believed that there is always another day. Even for the most pessimistic in our batch, many of us had always thought that there is always tomorrow. That life will stay the same the very next day that we wake up. That we will always see the same familiar faces day-in and day-out. In a sense, we might have believed that we were immortals - forever young, immune to the harshness and realities of life. That death is just a word, a figment of our imagination. To be honest, there were already a few deaths among our batch while we were still in LSGH. But for the most part, many of us may have thought that it was just a fluke, a mistake that none of us had a hand in doing but still permanent nonetheless.
Its news like these that makes you appreciate what you have with your life right now. That you have to make the most in life and not live with regrets, hate, anger and whatsoever. These kinds of news also makes you wonder what have you done and what legacy will you be leaving behind when your time finally comes.
To Bernard Cabading, my batchmate from LSGH, you're in a better place now. Many could only envy the manner of your death as it was so peaceful you may not have even noticed it. That you might have actually woke up beside the Lord the second death took you in your sleep. You're now with our other batchmates who had gone ahead of us. In a sense, you guys up there are now immortals in your own rights, just as many of us had thought of ourselves during the idiocy of our youth, in the hallowed grounds of LSGH.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
This should be fun...
I finally had a taste on how a handle a disgruntled client... A VERY disgruntled client at that... It started because I was given faulty information to begin with... While I was able to provide an option/ solution to the problem, the client ended the meeting by saying that he will be discussing it with his wife...
The feeling that I had before, during and after that meeting is quite hard to describe but let's put it this way:
Imagine that you're hunting a wolf... After a supposedly good shot, the wolf managed to escape... And then that same wolf shows up behind you, snarling and with blood in its eyes... And then it starts attacking you... And then somehow, you manage to kill it... Unfortunately, the dead wolf's buddies show up and start to surround you, ready to kill you.
While the deal is far from being declared "dead" its still quite unsettling to be in that kind of situation which, by the way dear reader, isn't over yet...
The feeling that I had before, during and after that meeting is quite hard to describe but let's put it this way:
Imagine that you're hunting a wolf... After a supposedly good shot, the wolf managed to escape... And then that same wolf shows up behind you, snarling and with blood in its eyes... And then it starts attacking you... And then somehow, you manage to kill it... Unfortunately, the dead wolf's buddies show up and start to surround you, ready to kill you.
While the deal is far from being declared "dead" its still quite unsettling to be in that kind of situation which, by the way dear reader, isn't over yet...
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