Hello again my dear blog.
I'm back. Why you might ask? And in blogger.com now instead of multiply? Well dear blog, as you may have heard, multiply's about to close down as a social networking/ blog site. And since I consider my blog to be my diary of sorts of almost everything that happened to me in the past, I think its appropriate to save it, if only to be able to let me review the past so that I may not be able to repeat the mistakes that I did... and also to have a good chuckle or two at my silliness back in the day.
Don't worry blog, I'll still put in my entries from time to time but with none of the emo stuff that I'm pretty sure bled your virtual ears back then haha.
Anyway, I'll be seeing you around here in your new address and I look forward to sharing to you a lot of good times this time around.
Until then buddy.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Friday, April 6, 2012
Lent 2012: Making Things Happen
Hello there blog. Here I am for my mandatory blog entry for this year's Lenten period. Come to think of it, this is also a long-delayed update.. It's been almost a year since I last posted something worth reading here. Yes, I know. I missed out on a lot: my birthday, Christmas, New Year, Valentine's and a whole lot more. Then again, I have to be honest with you blog.
Looks like the time has come for me to finally outgrow you as I slowly but surely grow out of the confines of my own personal shell.
Looking back at all of the posts that I've done before, it somehow makes me feel old, remark at how I was able to maintain a personal blog this long when almost everyone else had stopped and decided to join in the fad of twitter and the likes. Sometimes, seeing certain posts of mine in this blog makes me cringe at the thought that I was that pathetic back in the day... I guess its what some people would call growing pains.
I can't say that I'll stop blogging. Like the racing game that I still play from time to time for enjoyment, blogging is still in my blood so to speak. But the way that I used to write, those emotion-filled writing nights (may they be happy or sad), I must confess to say that I no longer have that "urge" for the lack of a better term.
Now, you might be wonder blog what's keeping me busy lately. Busy from encoding here certain facets of my life and whatnots. It's simple. I'm now busy making my dreams - all of them - a reality. Whereas before I write them down here, along with my joys and frustrations, I now take the time to make them happen. For some of my own personal goals, I've set a deadline with which I should've attained them by then. What are they, you might ask? I'll just keep them to myself my dear little blog. I'd rather surprise you along with whoever are the people left out there who are still reading this blog of mine. Mark your calendar blog. August 2012. My next entry after this will just be a simple update of what I've achieved so far this year. Gone were the days that I write here, hoping that the coming days, weeks and months of the year will be better for me. Yes, I still hope. But now I also chase my dreams. I can finally honestly say to myself that I've finally broken out of that rotten personal perspective that I can't get a good break. This is the year that I start making things happen.
So please pardon me dear blog that I won't be able to catch up with you as often as I used to. At the very least, majority (if not all) of what you'll be hearing (or reading) from me will be mostly positive things instead of the emotional-laden items that I peppered you with for the last five years.
Looks like the time has come for me to finally outgrow you as I slowly but surely grow out of the confines of my own personal shell.
Looking back at all of the posts that I've done before, it somehow makes me feel old, remark at how I was able to maintain a personal blog this long when almost everyone else had stopped and decided to join in the fad of twitter and the likes. Sometimes, seeing certain posts of mine in this blog makes me cringe at the thought that I was that pathetic back in the day... I guess its what some people would call growing pains.
I can't say that I'll stop blogging. Like the racing game that I still play from time to time for enjoyment, blogging is still in my blood so to speak. But the way that I used to write, those emotion-filled writing nights (may they be happy or sad), I must confess to say that I no longer have that "urge" for the lack of a better term.
Now, you might be wonder blog what's keeping me busy lately. Busy from encoding here certain facets of my life and whatnots. It's simple. I'm now busy making my dreams - all of them - a reality. Whereas before I write them down here, along with my joys and frustrations, I now take the time to make them happen. For some of my own personal goals, I've set a deadline with which I should've attained them by then. What are they, you might ask? I'll just keep them to myself my dear little blog. I'd rather surprise you along with whoever are the people left out there who are still reading this blog of mine. Mark your calendar blog. August 2012. My next entry after this will just be a simple update of what I've achieved so far this year. Gone were the days that I write here, hoping that the coming days, weeks and months of the year will be better for me. Yes, I still hope. But now I also chase my dreams. I can finally honestly say to myself that I've finally broken out of that rotten personal perspective that I can't get a good break. This is the year that I start making things happen.
So please pardon me dear blog that I won't be able to catch up with you as often as I used to. At the very least, majority (if not all) of what you'll be hearing (or reading) from me will be mostly positive things instead of the emotional-laden items that I peppered you with for the last five years.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Friday, September 9, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Doing what is right
Hello blog.
Yes, I know, it's been a while... Things have been rather busy these past couple of months since my last post...
What's that? How's the Princess you ask? Well, she and I still close friends. If my life were a sitcom or some similar program, the Princess is one of those newly introduced characters in the story to quickly become a regular in the series for better or for worse. As you can imagine from my last blog entry, I've decided to stop being an asshole so to speak. Yes, I know I'm not getting any younger and that I should start looking for a suitable lifelong partner but my conscience won't let me hear the end of it if it's about the Princess.
I do admit that I still do like her, truth be told, she's somehow managed to carve a special place in my heart without her knowing it... But, sorry for those who wish for me and the Princess to be together but I've decided to do the right thing just as I've written in my last blog entry.
Yes blog, what is it? Can't you let me finish my monologue without interrupting me? Oh, you're asking me if I'm hurting? What do you think? Isn't it obvious? Yes, dear blog. My heart is hurting like there's no tomorrow if you want some clarification. Hn? You're half-expecting me to go to my silent corner and cry like before with that lady who tore my heart apart into a million pieces and flushed it down the lavatory? Sorry buddy but I've already graduated from that. Crying won't get me anywhere just as it hasn't got me anywhere all those years ago. I'd rather stomach whatever pain I'm feeling right now. I'm a masochist you say? Maybe. I guess that's the price I have to pay when I fell for the Princess... Someone who's become so close to my heart yet at the same time so very far away.
Again, as painful as it is, I'm sticking to my guns. I'm sticking to my principles. I'm doing the right thing. I'll still be her friend... I'll still be her retainer and confidant... But I will never do anything to mess up her life or mine.
Yes, I know, it's been a while... Things have been rather busy these past couple of months since my last post...
What's that? How's the Princess you ask? Well, she and I still close friends. If my life were a sitcom or some similar program, the Princess is one of those newly introduced characters in the story to quickly become a regular in the series for better or for worse. As you can imagine from my last blog entry, I've decided to stop being an asshole so to speak. Yes, I know I'm not getting any younger and that I should start looking for a suitable lifelong partner but my conscience won't let me hear the end of it if it's about the Princess.
I do admit that I still do like her, truth be told, she's somehow managed to carve a special place in my heart without her knowing it... But, sorry for those who wish for me and the Princess to be together but I've decided to do the right thing just as I've written in my last blog entry.
Yes blog, what is it? Can't you let me finish my monologue without interrupting me? Oh, you're asking me if I'm hurting? What do you think? Isn't it obvious? Yes, dear blog. My heart is hurting like there's no tomorrow if you want some clarification. Hn? You're half-expecting me to go to my silent corner and cry like before with that lady who tore my heart apart into a million pieces and flushed it down the lavatory? Sorry buddy but I've already graduated from that. Crying won't get me anywhere just as it hasn't got me anywhere all those years ago. I'd rather stomach whatever pain I'm feeling right now. I'm a masochist you say? Maybe. I guess that's the price I have to pay when I fell for the Princess... Someone who's become so close to my heart yet at the same time so very far away.
Again, as painful as it is, I'm sticking to my guns. I'm sticking to my principles. I'm doing the right thing. I'll still be her friend... I'll still be her retainer and confidant... But I will never do anything to mess up her life or mine.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Easter Reflection: So Close Yet So Far Away
Yes blog, I'm back. I'm sure you've noticed the sudden surge in the frequency of my blog entries.
This morning, I was at my aunt's place to celebrate Easter. Both of my cousins (daughters of my aunt) are still living with her albeit this time with their respective husbands and kids. It was refreshing to see those little tykes move around and play on such a bright and sunny morning. Their innocence reminded me of days gone by when all I had to worry about was if my Dad was going to scold me for breaking his beloved trophy. Seeing those toddlers play in the pool and under the sun definitely put a smile on my face before I had any idea of what was going on.
And then it hit me. I realized that the princess is also having a nice morning like this, most likely with the presence of her boyfriend. Her boyfriend... the man who has won the princess' heart, a man who has been accepted by her family for the last two years... a man who's not only accepted but definitely a part of the princess' family by now. It's no surprise that they might be having plans about settling down.
Again, I ask myself: can I really go down to the level of the very people that I used to hate so that I may have a shot at my own happiness? Am I willing to become so selfish that I'd go as far as destroying a perfectly healthy relationship? Just because I was denied a long time ago of experiencing something like what my cousins are living at the moment certainly doesn't give me the right to deny other people a similar happy scenario. Granted that I never wanted to do this as revenge for the crap that I went through before, the end result is still the same thing: I destroyed someone else's happiness to further my own.
Common sense and logic dictates that I end it all now with the princess. What better timing to silently slip away than when she and her family are about to go on vacation abroad? But, just like what I said in a previous blog entry, things, as far as a love-struck heart is concerned, aren't that simple.
I'm irritated at myself for not being able to control myself. In spite of knowing that she has a boyfriend, I still couldn't help it being close to her. And yet, at the end of the day, I still end up denying myself of furthering my own emotional happiness. I can't do it. I can never go down to the level of the very people that I once hated. I will just have to live through this painful yet sweet feeling of being so close yet so far from the woman who, unknown to her, now owns my heart. The obvious answer , no compromise for my situation, would be of course to wait for my turn to dance with the princess. But what if my turn never comes? Until the day cupid decides to give me a princess or a queen that I can definitely call my own without any hesitation, I will just have to be content being her knight, a loyal retainer whom she trusts her life and secrets with, and not as her prince - that man whom she definitely gave her heart to at this time.
Perhaps, this is just something painfully sweet that I have to experience so that I may know what the people who I used to hate were going through. Perhaps, after denying myself for so long and looking down on people who allowed themselves to be carried away by their emotions, I also had to experience this so that I may be reminded how it is to be in love and how precious it is.
I know where I stand. I will still stay by the princess' side as her close friend, retainer and confidant. I will continue to stay that way until fate decides to let me have someone to call my own or maybe even have a chance to dance with the princess.
To be able to dance alone with the princess... Such a nice and pleasant albeit near-impossible possibility...
This morning, I was at my aunt's place to celebrate Easter. Both of my cousins (daughters of my aunt) are still living with her albeit this time with their respective husbands and kids. It was refreshing to see those little tykes move around and play on such a bright and sunny morning. Their innocence reminded me of days gone by when all I had to worry about was if my Dad was going to scold me for breaking his beloved trophy. Seeing those toddlers play in the pool and under the sun definitely put a smile on my face before I had any idea of what was going on.
And then it hit me. I realized that the princess is also having a nice morning like this, most likely with the presence of her boyfriend. Her boyfriend... the man who has won the princess' heart, a man who has been accepted by her family for the last two years... a man who's not only accepted but definitely a part of the princess' family by now. It's no surprise that they might be having plans about settling down.
Again, I ask myself: can I really go down to the level of the very people that I used to hate so that I may have a shot at my own happiness? Am I willing to become so selfish that I'd go as far as destroying a perfectly healthy relationship? Just because I was denied a long time ago of experiencing something like what my cousins are living at the moment certainly doesn't give me the right to deny other people a similar happy scenario. Granted that I never wanted to do this as revenge for the crap that I went through before, the end result is still the same thing: I destroyed someone else's happiness to further my own.
Common sense and logic dictates that I end it all now with the princess. What better timing to silently slip away than when she and her family are about to go on vacation abroad? But, just like what I said in a previous blog entry, things, as far as a love-struck heart is concerned, aren't that simple.
I'm irritated at myself for not being able to control myself. In spite of knowing that she has a boyfriend, I still couldn't help it being close to her. And yet, at the end of the day, I still end up denying myself of furthering my own emotional happiness. I can't do it. I can never go down to the level of the very people that I once hated. I will just have to live through this painful yet sweet feeling of being so close yet so far from the woman who, unknown to her, now owns my heart. The obvious answer , no compromise for my situation, would be of course to wait for my turn to dance with the princess. But what if my turn never comes? Until the day cupid decides to give me a princess or a queen that I can definitely call my own without any hesitation, I will just have to be content being her knight, a loyal retainer whom she trusts her life and secrets with, and not as her prince - that man whom she definitely gave her heart to at this time.
Perhaps, this is just something painfully sweet that I have to experience so that I may know what the people who I used to hate were going through. Perhaps, after denying myself for so long and looking down on people who allowed themselves to be carried away by their emotions, I also had to experience this so that I may be reminded how it is to be in love and how precious it is.
I know where I stand. I will still stay by the princess' side as her close friend, retainer and confidant. I will continue to stay that way until fate decides to let me have someone to call my own or maybe even have a chance to dance with the princess.
To be able to dance alone with the princess... Such a nice and pleasant albeit near-impossible possibility...
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