A New Stage

Hello blog.

Yes, its been a while... Seven months since we last talked right? My bad. To be honest, things have been quite hectic during those seven months.

Remember the last time we talked dear blog? Wherein I told you that I am anxious as hell over my upcoming broker's exam? Well, by some good fortune, God's will, having the favor of Lady Luck or the Giant Pumpkin, I was able to pass the said examination and I finally have my broker's license as well. The timing couldn't have been better as you'll see later on...

Next up, I got involved in a music band for a company event. Let's just say that my "long-forgotten" skills for playing the piano/keyboard suddenly showed up though I humbly admit that I could've performed better or contributed to a better performance had I continued my practice through the years. Yet, I found the experience enlightening. It made me grasp once again who I was or realize that I don't have to be identified mostly with my job/work. That I can still be all the things that I gave up long ago in the name of a bigger paycheck. That and I've made closer ties as well with the people who were my bandmates for that brief period in time. 

And lastly, I've finally started my career as an independent Real Estate Broker. I am finally fulfilling the purpose as to why I've passed the broker's exam. It was an irritating and frustrating experience to know that you have a lot of clients who are in need of your help as a property consultant but you can't do much because you're contract-bound to only provide a certain set of properties or developments while watching the client (and potential sale/profit) go away.

And yet, I also humbly admit my shortcoming(s). To be able to function as a property consultant, you have to con your clients a bit. It can't be helped. It's part of the sales environment as well as working exclusively with a single company or developer. I myself, I'm not that kind of professional. My "selling style" so to speak, is that I am the consultant - no, I am a consultant. When people come to me asking for help, advice or recommendations, I provide the right solutions for them based on their requirements. Even if I am capable of conning my client, it's not in me to do so.

I'm actually having a mix of emotions right now. On the one hand, I'm both excited and terrified of the idea of finally going off on my own. Excited because I'm finally realizing a dream that I had denied myself for a very long time now. Terrified because, it's my first time to venture out alone. On the other hand, resigning and leaving my previous company, Alveo, is a bittersweet experience. While my sales performance was not up to par, the experiences that I went through along with the people who I interacted with made me grow into a better person. As a comparison, SMDC gave me a taste of how it is to be successful professionally. Alveo gave me personal growth as to how I should talk to people, interact with them and to ultimately build relationships with them.

I admit, I miss Alveo. I miss the people, my friends who have become my family for the last twelve months. But it's time to step onto a new stage. Back in SMDC, it was rather easy for me to say good-bye to that company because of a single bad experience. As for Alveo, in spite of my professional frustrations at not being able to perform properly, the people who I were with made it bearable in the sense that for the first time in my professional life, I rarely felt depressed. It made my decision to leave a tough one. Still, it's time to move on to a new phase. To what I think (based on whatever signs I saw relating to this) is my true calling.

And so, my dear blog, I close this entry with the hope that the next time I talk to you again, I bring you another set of good news.

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Real Estate Broker's Exam 2013

Hello Blog,

Yes, it’s been a while… If you think that the tone that I’ve set for this entry is anxious, it’s because I am… Tomorrow, March 17, 2013, by the time a random daytime reader from my side of the world gets to read this, I’m already well on my way in taking my exams for my broker’s license…

Now, you might be wondering, why get so worked up over an exam that will be awarded by a license, a small piece of paper, to be exact? For the uninitiated, yes, it’s just a small piece of paper indeed. I can still sell real estate; provide advice to my clients and whatnots without it. But looking beyond that piece of paper, getting that license opens the doors to a world of opportunities; life as an independent broker, a possible promotion within a real estate company, even a profession in teaching is open.

And also, why be in a profession wherein everyday, you face rejection from people (clients) almost 90% of the time?

Kidding aside, for some, it’s all about the bragging rights. Others just want an option that, while it’s not necessary for them, is a welcome option nonetheless. For others, it is a gateway to better things. You can say that I fall into the third category. To be honest, I feel pressured because, while I’m definitely not the dumbest person around, I’m not the sharpest tool in the tool rack either. I humbly acknowledge that the licensure exam that I’m about to take is something that I should have done a long time ago – last year, 2012, to be exact. At around this time last year, instead of attending to my broker’s license, I attended to other matters that I thought, at least back then, were good ideas. Fortunately or unfortunately, my ventures into other matters didn’t take-off properly. I can’t really say that it was an unfortunate turn of events; I found out what I really love doing the most – where I’m really happy - even if I found it out the hard and costly way.

Hence, my anxiousness. True, I’ve studied and reviewed. But I still feel… inadequate… The last “big” exam(s) that I took on which was on a national level so to speak were the college entrance exams... And that was more than a decade ago… Honestly, I have this feeling to just back out and take the exams the following year… But I just can’t do that… For obvious reasons and for some not so obvious reasons that I rather divulge to you at a later time…

And so blog, I lay down my virtual pen for now; I need to get my sleep and be well-rested. Hopefully, the next time I write you another entry, it’s a good result that I can share you.

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Midnight Epilogue: Serendipity

Making his way past countless of seemingly stationary vehicles - all of which seemed to not have a clue of what just went by them. Squeezing his way past traffic, from cars, to motorcycles and even trucks, he smiles as he realizes that he's just like a blurr to them - a Red Wind so to speak.

It almost feels like home.

Almost.

He's now in another land far from his home, far away from all the sorrows that he left behind. Exploring new sights and sounds and at the same time, seeing more of the same, the Red Wind slowed down upon seeing a signage. He was nearing his exit from the highway and started to become visible. Running at a comfortable and relaxed pace, he his thoughts wandered a bit on past events: the betrayal, forgiveness and reconciliation with the White Queen; the close call with the Black Beauty; his transformation from the Red Knight into the Red Wind; his whirlwind story with the Yellow Damsel; his "accidental" rescue of a Blue Angel; and so many more...

Returning to reality, he found himself lined up at the toll booth. Paying his fee when his turn came, he started to pick up speed as he left. He has a destination to reach and has to reach it soon - the sooner the better.

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Listening to the waves as it hit the posts of the pier, she was exploring a foreign land, so different from the land of her birth yet similar in so many ways. Leaning at the side of her car, she couldn't help but smile at recent events; exploring the world with her navigator - her best friend - meeting new people, and a chance encounter. Closing her eyes, she recalled what happened:

In spite of his rather bright color, he was just part of the crowd, minding his own business.

She would occasionally cross paths with him, sometimes meeting glances with him.

And then, she was lost. Not even her navigator was able to help.

Not knowing what to do, and as if on cue, a Red Wind stopped by and helped them - no longer just another face in the crowd. Meeting up with the Dark Justice, a friend of the Red Wind who was a local of the area, they were able to find their way out.

She didn't ask for help nor was she expecting it. She and her Navigator were ready to find their way on their own when help suddenly arrived.  It was as if it was fated for the Blue Angel to meet with the Red Wind.

And now, in spite of the physical distance, he has now become part of her story.

Opening her eyes, she looked out to sea, watching the sun slowly rise above the horizon, and let out a happy sigh as if waiting for someone.

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Seeing the sunrise, the Red Wind shifted into a higher gear. A gentle smile then formed on his face as he rode of into the summer morning. Edging to the very limits of his speed and excited to face the future, he knew that he shouldn't keep that future waiting.

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Author's note:
I haven't touched the "Midnight Series" for quite sometime now... For those who are wondering, the "Midnight Series" is a collection of short stories, inspired by my life's experiences during my early twenties and translated or interpreted into a street racing setting (not to mention that the interpretation was inspired by a racing game that I once actively played back in the day)... It started way back around 2007 when my blog was still with Multiply... I think this series deserves a proper closure now that I'm past that stage...

This entry may not be as dramatic as the previous entries to this series but personally, it doesn't have to be..

In Memory of a Friend

Ok, I promised that I won't be posting as much as I used to... But today's an exception, so to speak. I just found out that a good friend of mine had just died this morning. Funny, it's just the first month of the year and someone who I knew already left for the other side.

I first met the guy roughly four to five years ago at an arcade called Timezone in a mall called Glorietta 4. At first glance, he looked like wasn't of any interest to anyone. In fact, people can easily mistake him for that location's resident looney. Why was that? He was already a person with disability at the time our paths crossed. His face was a bit disfigured, his thinking and some of his motor functions were affected or tilted somewhat... all because of a vehicular accident that happened to him years prior. To many people with a very judgmental eye he was a person to avoid being affiliated to so that you won't be called weird. And yet, when I first stepped into that arcade, he was one of the very first to welcome me there. Truth be told, he was surrounded by a lot of wonderful friends.

In case you, dear reader, have been wondering what was I doing in an arcade back then, I was an active gamer before - a virtual racer if you may. From the time I met this friend of mine, he taught me the basics of a racing game that would introduce me to a lot of wonderful people, both here and abroad - and also unlikely teach me some lessons that I found very much applicable to life.

This person, while he is what a lot of people would call "laman ng arcade" (arcade resident), a closer look as to who he is would reveal someone much more than that. It is in this regard that that man taught me the virtues of acceptance, making the most of a situation, and to most importantly, to live life.

He showed acceptance, not just because he welcomed a stranger like me into his territory but more importantly because he knew that due to his current situation, he couldn't hope to live a life based on the standards of everyone else.

He made the most of his situation by simply being happy in his own fun and quirky way.

He lived life in spite of it all. Eventhough he was physically disabled, he showed everyone, that even through an arcade game, he can stand toe to toe, race head on with the best of them and was widely regarded and respected by everyone during his time to be one of the best.

He was also the man responsible for giving me the nickname that the local arcade racing community would come to know me by even though I'm currently retired from it. He called me "Master" as a joke to me supposedly having a lot of dates at the time of first acquaintance.  What started off as a joke however, would soon turn into what seems like, for a lack of better term, a term of endearment to me by the community.

Now dear reader, you might be wondering why am I writing like this. Let's just say that the last time I saw this friend of mine was roughly a year and a half ago. He would occasionally contact me through text messaging. Sometimes I would reply, sometimes I couldn't simply because I "was too busy". And being the good friend that he is, he told me that he understands.

As of December 2012, his condition worsened.Common friends told me that he became a vegetable of sorts: he couldn't speak properly anymore. He couldn't even move his legs. He had to be moved around in a wheelchair. I also failed to greet him during Christmas and New Year even though I had his number. Granted that the guy couldn't respond but still... It's not hard to imagine that he could still somehow understand messages that are being read to him. I admit to my failing that I got so used to having that friend's presence around for so long that the status quo would remain. I was so busy chasing my own dreams, cooped up in my own little world of problems while experiencing new things and meeting new people that I took for-granted some of the ones who I met before thinking that they would still be there the next day and the day after. He happened to be one of them. I was too busy to say "hi" or "hello". And for someone in his situation, one can't get enough of a simple "how are you" from either family and friends.

Buddy, wherever you are right now, I'm sure you're already happy racing with the angels along with some of the other members of our gaming community that went ahead.

Cheers brother.

2013: Apprehensive yet Hopeful

Hello there blog. Happy new year. Sorry for the late greeting.

What's with the mellow mood you ask? Yeah, I know... I should be excited that the new year's just kicked in...

But as the title implies, I'm rather apprehensive now or should we say cautious, compared to the previous new years. You see blog, for the last couple of years, I've been bullish with my projections in the past, stating that new year will be bringing in a lot of changes.

True, I've changed a bit. I'd like to think that I've changed, grew or matured for the better but personality and mindset issues aside, if you're going to look at who I am right now, it looks like nothing's changed much... The reason why I think like this is because I'm not getting any younger... I'm 29 years old... technically that is still young but for crying out loud, people who I grew up with had already made strides, changes or whatsoever... I'm still stuck with many of my unfulfilled dreams, hoping and working to make them come true this time around...

Maybe this apprehensive feeling that I have right now is caused by this awareness... Who knows?... Then again dear blog, you can't really blame me for thinking that way especially considering that I practically wasted a good number of my younger years as you bore witness to it...

December 21, 2012, the projected and feared end of days has come to pass as just another day, much to the chagrin of the doomsayers... kidding aside and with that in mind, I can't afford to fail on my hopes and dreams this year... time flies so fast that before you know it, another year had just gone by and the status quo still remains... I'm tired of it... I'm tired of putting in a whole lot of effort only to find myself tiring myself on the same spot... I'm tired of making headways and then somewhere along the way, something happens that throws me back to square one...

While 2012 wasn't really that much of good year for me (which obviously made me raise the middle finger to it as a farewell once the calendar moved on to 2013), a lot of good things also happened as well: moving a new environment, getting a fresh start, being part of a new "family", having a new set of friends - a new cast in the sitcom that is my life, made new friends abroad and recovering from a number of big mistakes...

I repeat dear blog, I am apprehensive because year in, year out, I've made bullish projections that fell flat on it's collective face; dreamed of dreams that never materialized or got fulfilled. And yet, I am still hopeful. I've seen the world or at least a portion of it. My world is no longer stuck on any one location. My playground is now the world. It is waiting for me, goading me to take to the skies and fulfill my dreams for real this time around... I can't afford to fail...

For the superstitious, thirteen is an unlucky number... but with all the fuss that 2012 brought me, I dare to raise a finger at that superstition and make 2013 a year of real changes and not just another year of frustrations...

Anyway, enough of this ranting, dear blog... I have dreams to fulfill... and God help me if it's going to be "just another year"...